clanish, amor propio

source: fr ferdinand bajao, svd (2015). the word in other words: bible diary 2016. manila: logos pub (commentary on john 6:60-69: discourse on the bread of life)[headings caps mine]

A. Human Condition

"The chaplain finally said, 'No more new groups!' Filipino religiosity is a fact here in Rome. However, it also reveals a malady that weakens these otherwise lively, spiritual people. We tend to disintegrate into SPLINTER communities because of misunderstandings and diverse grudges or animosities towards each other. 

This illness progressed into a 'plague' when 10 or more groups began to pop up like crazy and each with a horror story to tell and axes to grind.

When the Lord spoke of his body and blood as true food and true drink to be eaten and drunk, the followers began to distance from him...."

B. Divine Intervention

" 'What kept you in the community after all these years?' I asked one community member of many, many years. She narrated her struggles and pains in and outside the community but concluded, 'Nandito po ang Panginoon!' Call it cliche, corny or cheesy but didn't Peter say of it as well? I think the question should have been, 'WHO kept you in the community after all these years?'"

filipino communication style (phases)

Filipino Communication Style (Phases)

by Msgr. Nico Bautista (1988)

1.        Naninibago

2.        Nangangapa

3.        Nakikibagay

4.        Nagtitiis

5.        Nagpapahiwatig (Nonverval Cues)

6.        Nagpapadinig (Verbal Cues)

7.        Nakikiramdam (Play by ear)

8.        Naglalambing (Affectionate Demand)

9.        Nagtatampo (Sulking)

10.   Hinanakit (Short-Term Hurt)

11.   Sama ng Loob (Long-Term Hurt)

12.   Galit!

Reflection Question:

Am I am Mount Mayon or a Mount Pinatubo?

mount mayon

mount pinatubo

filipino values

FILIPINO PSYCHOLOGY_Filipino Values / VALUES_Filipino

Re: Value Auction Sheet

1.    Pakikiramdam (sensitivity and regards for others)

2.    Pagpuno sa kakulangan

3.    Gaan ng loob (rapport and acceptance)

4.    Utang na loob (to be grateful)

5.    Pagtitiis (to endure)

6.    Self-indulgence

7.    Pagtitimpi (to suppress)

8.    Delicadeza (to be cautious)

9.    Lakas ng loob (guts or daring)

10. Hiya (to feel shame)

11. Economic and educational advancement

12. Competitiveness

13. Katiyagaan (perseverance)

14. Individual freedom and initiative

15. Pakikipagkapwa (human concern and interaction of one with others)

16. Independence and personal responsibility

17. Pakikisama (to get along with)

18. Independent judgment

19. Patulong at pagdamay (helping)

20. Professional and technical competence and efficiency

21. Paggalang at pagmamamalasakit (respect and concern)

22. Mapagbigay (to be generous)

23. Pagkamaalalahanin (thoughtfulness)

Fr: Fr. Dionisio Miranda, SVD, STD (1992). Buting Pinoy: Probe essays on value as

          Filipino. Manila: Logos Publications.

1.    Kapayapaan

2.    Kabutinhang Loob

3.    Kagandahang Loob

4.    Kalinisang Loob

filipino coping resources

FILIPINO PSYCHOLOGY_COPING MECHANISMS

Re: Filipino Family Coping Mechanisms

Fr: Laigo, L., Cura, M. N., Oreta, J. S., & Galang, G. P. (2009). The Filipino family: Indicators of well-being. Manila: Philippine Women’s University, pp. 38-40.

Research Time Frame: end of 2003 to mid 2004

Respondents:

Ø  N = 231 parents (Luzon, Visayas, & Mindanao) & 57 children (Tarlac, Pampanga, Batangas, & Iloilo) for Focus Group Discussion

Ø  N = 132 children (Manila, Laguna, Cavite, & Davao) aged 10-18 for Written Survey

Ø  Key Informants for Individual Interview (mostly from SES Class C & D)

Coping Skills:

1. Social Support System (Family, Relatives, & Neighbors) – financial & moral support; neighbor asked to take a peer (silipin) at children (p. 38)

2. Church, Religion, Spirituality – provide sense of stability, praying to God in times of distress (p. 39)

3. Humor – making light one’s situation (p. 39), laughing at problems diffuses their seriousness (p. 40); although self-depreciation & passivity may need rethinking (p. 39)

the case against over-nationalism in pursuing filipino psychology (ethnocentrism)

being the serious type (dysthymic or even depressive, in clinical term :-), i was able to come up with the following OBJECTIONS against just naturally following filipino psychology.

1. the fallacy of the familiar (a universal phenomenon, not specifically or properly filipino alone)

i read somewhere this awesome but often neglected fallacy of the familiar (my own term :-) which states that what is familiar is true or right.

in psychopathology, being raised in an abnormal, e.g., abusive home environment makes one believe (and feel, and later on act) that what is abusive (FAMILIAR) is NORMAL (just the way things are in reality / life).

2. "group think" (a shadow of kapwa-tao)

i also read about this and the term is not mine, but an accepted academic term.

as a participant observer in a 5-day seminar in a group of 8 high school teachers, i was refreshed with this concept. 

when asked by our foreign facilitators to share in dyads, the "natural" (i would even say "lazy") inclination is to just share in a group. 

the disadvantage of this is that only the most vocal or "intelligent" of the group is heard. the others' voices are muted, if not totally left unheard or silent.

3. the social chamelon (a shadow of pakikipagkapwa as manifested in pakikisama or smooth interpersonal relationshipos) 

the word comes from the greek "khamai" meaning "on the ground," or "diminutive" + leon = lion, i.e., a small lion. in filipino, i translate it as "nagleleon-leonan" or acting as if one is a ferocious lion.

this was brought home to me very powerfully when in dubai. an indian said: "you filipinos are good if your companions are good, and bad if your companions are bad." bow! straightforwardly truthful / objective.

thus, "chameleon" (i heard our former parish priest use the word unyango [i don't know the exact spelling, but that was how it was pronounced] as a filipino translation) connotes one who is "CHANGEABLE, FICKLE, or INCONSTANT" (dicitonary.com). in other words, UNRELIABLE, or being OVERLY-FLEXIBLE. this last word connotes an excess of something that would be otherwise positive (golden mean concept).

this is manifested in the SIPSIP phenomenon, i.e., being too SOLICITOUS (defined as "showing consideration, concern, attention, etc." in dictionary.com) with the eager intent of winning the favor of the other (kapwa) as manifested in the giving of POSITIVE COMPLIMENTS to the point of already being INSINCERE or INAUTHENTIC. some of these may already by so ingrained in the culture that it is automatically or unconsciously done, thus lowering the so-called "culpability" in morals.

4. passivity (the shadow of the filipino value of katahimikan, cf: fr. dionisio miranda, svd, std)

this is embodied in the common saying "tatahimik na lang para walang gulo" which i quoted in my objection ("appeal" letter) to the administrators of the school of my child for giving him a sanction for a minor offense that was not in the student handbook that we signed.

in morals, this is again called SIN OF OMISSION. it is an offense against TRUTH and JUSTICE.

pakikipagkapwa: smooth interpersonal relationships # 1. contradicting someone in a group

>the word

"speak the truth [object] in love [sujbect]" -- ephesians 4:15

this is culturally supported by the filipinos' highest value which is pakikipagkapwa-tao, according to filipino psychology experts. it used to be just pakikisama or smooth interpersonal relationships.

>the misalignment

i felt guilty for not observing this tenet today.

in the seminar i am attending, i contradicted the response of a co-participant by emphatically stating what i've been wanting to say to the group since last week. 

effect: the person never recited again. :-(

>my background

my best subject in philosophy was epistemology, the study of truth.

in a way, my largely westernized education has alienated me from my home / national / natural culture.

i am thankful for this perspective, which allows me to more "objectively" self-critique my cultural heritage, but i need to embrace once more my ROOTS so as not to be ALIENATED from it, myself, and my countrymen (KAPWA), resulting in what the MMPI test calls "SOCIAL ALIENATION."

>resolution 
(as in r = request in the non-violent communication steps contained in the acronym OFNR = observation, feeling, need, & request)

follow the natural tendency of filipinos to use the common practice of using the POLITE introductory words / phrases "perhaps," "it seems," or better still, be INCLUSIVE with "we might go into the extreme...."

>cautionary note: extreme

of course, the extreme of "shadow" of this is to be a chamelion, being completely passive and non-confrontative, which already amounts to a SIN OF OMISSION.